Every day is April 1st in the supermarket

Is Smucker’s Strawberry Simply Fruit made from nothing but strawberries? It’s not that simple.

The “fruit spread” has more fruit syrup than strawberries, which explains why 9 of the 10 grams of sugar in each tablespoon are added. Gotcha!

"You’re beautiful, let’s keep it that way,” says VitaCup Beauty Blend Infused Coffee with Collagen, Biotin, Cinnamon & Vitamins. It’s a mix of “all-star beauty ingredients intended for show-stopping hair, skin, and nails.”

Intended for? There’s no good evidence that VitaCup’s collagen, biotin, cinnamon, folate, or manganese enhances your hair, skin, or nails. And every cup has 333 times more biotin than you should get in an entire day. That could interfere with some blood tests.

Beauty Blend? We guess Baloney Blend wouldn’t have made it through Marketing.

How do you eat a Joyböl Strawberry Almond Quinoa Crunch with Granola Clusters Smoothie Bowl?

Just pull off the plastic lid and wrapper, unfold the plastic spoon, add water, and stir. (Thanks for a new way to generate plastic waste, Kellogg!)

Then dig in to your böl of oats, almonds, sugar, soy protein isolate, oil, sorghum, brown rice syrup, dairy solids, strawberry powder, whey, dried strawberries, quinoa, cranberry powder, and roughly 20 other ingredients.

Sure, you could just eat fruit, milk, nuts, and oats in a reusable bowl (or blend them into a smoothie). But that wouldn’t help Kellogg’s bottom line.

"Light & refreshing taste,” says Ocean Spray PINK Cranberry Juice Cocktail. “With antioxidant vitamin C. Made with real fruit juice.”

Translation: Made with only 15 percent juice (about 1½ tablespoons), plus added sugar, water, and vitamin C.

The taste may be light, but the cocktail sure isn’t.

You get 70 calories and 4 teaspoons of added sugar in each 5.5 oz. mini can. Ounce for ounce, that’s about equal to the 140 calories and 9½ teaspoons of added sugar in a 12 oz. Coke.

“Tastes good. Good for you!” says the label. Since when are sugar drinks good for anyone?

"Filled with yogurt creme,” says the box of Trader Joe’s Oat & Greek Yogurt Sandwich Cookies.

Really? The cookie wafers do have some oat flour and flakes. But they have more sugar, brown sugar, and honey than greek yogurt. And the “creme” filling has more palm oil and sugar than yogurt powder. Surely, Joe isn’t using any “health halos” to sell 140-calorie cookies. Nah.

“Sorta sweet,” says Straight Up Tea, which is made by Snapple. Sorta?

Each 18.5 oz. bottle has 90 calories (disclosed in barely visible gray-on-black print on the front label). That’s thanks to the 5 teaspoons of added sugar (more than 40 percent of a day’s worth).

Sorta sneaky?

Photos: Victor Moussa/stock.adobe.com (top), Kaamilah Mitchell/CSPI (all others).