“Chili’s #1 selling burger just got bigger and better,” gushed the company’s June press release.

“Try the NEW Double OldTimer with Cheese with two juicy beef patties, cheddar cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomato, red onion and mustard.”

The original OldTimer—with just one lonely juicy beef patty—has been on the menu since Chili’s opened in 1975. But why stop with a single half-pound patty, when you can stuff an entire pound of beef and all the fixin’s inside a hefty white-flour bun?

Chili’s doesn’t call the OldTimer a Big Mouth Burger for nothing.

Even without fries, the Double OldTimer has 1,410 calories plus 42 grams of saturated fat (two days’ worth) and 1,700 milligrams of sodium (75 percent of a day’s limit). That’s the calories and sat fat you’d get in two McDonald’s Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese.

With fries, the total comes to 1,830 calories, 45 grams of sat fat, and 2,360 mg of sodium. Have it for breakfast, and you may not need to eat again until tomorrow.

Chili’s must be betting that you won’t think about all the greenhouse gas emissions that your beefed-up burger generated...or your waistline or your blood pressure or the sludge that the Double OldTimer generously deposits in your arteries.

Not their problem!