“There’s nothing better than a Subway Series Footlong, except when you add a new Footlong Sidekick like The Boss with a new Footlong Cookie,” says Patrick Mahomes, quarterback for the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs, in the TV ad.

“This might be my favorite sidekick ever,” adds Mahomes, as Kansas City tight end Travis Kelce stares back in disbelief.

Yup. Subway is now offering a $5 Footlong Cookie, a $3 Footlong Auntie Anne’s Pretzel, and a $2 Footlong Cinnabon Churro.

What a steal! The churro delivers 190 calories (mostly from refined starch and oil), while the pretzel hits 330 calories (mostly from white flour), with a bonus 1,330 milligrams of sodium (more than half a day’s worth).

But the cookie takes the jackpot. It’s got enough white flour, chocolate chips, sugar, palm oil, and other ingredients to deliver 1,330 calories, 32 grams of saturated fat (a 1½-day supply), and 24 teaspoons of added sugar (enough for today and tomorrow).

Each 2/3-pound cookie is like eating half a Family Size package of Chips Ahoy! Chocolate Chip cookies.

In February, CNN reported that Subway temporarily took the cookie off its app as the chain “was scrambling to get additional supply to meet demand.”

It doesn’t happen often, but Subway has managed to pull off not just one, but three offensive offsides.